How a Busy Family Does it All
… let us back up a bit. More of how we got here and who we are.
For several decades, we lived wonderful lives in the Chicagoland area. We had built great friendships, had a church we loved and were invested in (more on that another time), lived in a nice little community, traveled a lot, and enjoyed Chicago and all that it has to offer as a world class city. Our lives certainly weren’t perfect, but we had many of the boxes checked that people would generally want, and there was little we could complain about without sounding petty (except the weather, because that’s allowed). We had built many “roots” as we referred to them, which we always said was why we were where we were.
Then, in the summer of 2018, many of those roots suddenly seemed to wither unexpectedly out of the blue: there was a surprise scandal at our church that threatened its future, there was a job situation that suddenly was upended, some friendships took a difficult and unexpected turn, and there was a bad car wreck that put the fleeting nature of life back into view. Having just celebrated our 40th birthdays at the time, and mapped out what our goals were in our 40s, this all represented a big wake up call.
We decided to take a bold step and put everything on the table, and we found ourselves pulled toward the great state of Texas: the land of BBQ, breakfast tacos, and cowboy hats. While we have yet to buy any cowboy hats yet, it was a huge, scary, and amazing change for us that taught us an important lesson: even when your life seems good, or “how it’s supposed to be”, you can’t be afraid to look around and make sure you aren’t missing something even better. This idea has come back to nudge us many times since, including when we felt inspired to take the big step of starting this little missive floating out there in cyberspace.
J, Who Is This Guy Anyway?
J is a mildly sarcastic, steak-loving, wannabe golfer, with a bad case of wanderlust, and who enjoys spending time with others. He spent most of his life since his mid-teens living in the Chicagoland area, complaining about the awful winters and growing up. Baseball was always his sport, partially reinforced by a bad back injury in football, but (nerd alert!) he was also captain of the ping pong club in high school, so judge that however you wish. His favorite karaoke song is “It’s the End of the World as we Know It” by REM, and in high school he memorized Pi out to 100 places, because a friend dared him to. The scariest thing he ever did, besides say “sure, let’s have kids” was bungee jump off the Victoria Falls bridge in Zambia while his lovely wife was busy crying and up top and hoping our life insurance was current.
He grew up with three younger siblings, largely following the standard first-born model in many ways: bossy, responsible, cautious. Despite being told he was smart, “he’s not living up to his potential” defined much of his academic career. Playing with friends, exploring, and video games seemed much more interesting when he was a boy, it seemed.
Freshman year in high school, his family recently moving to the Chicagoland area, he began dating a friend of a friend and now almost thirty years later…here we are, making a website together.
In addition to being an avid hiker, he loves being on the water, thinking about financial markets, learning about geography, enjoying a drink with friends, learning about new places on Google Earth, eating excessive amounts of sushi, and listening to audiobooks/podcasts. J has worked in various corners of the insurance world and several different online businesses over the source of his career.
He can juggle.
A Highschool Sweetheart and Construction Queen::
A is a mom (evidenced by our four kids), an engineer by trade, and has a passion for beauty and DIY projects. She was born in the mostly-great state of Ohio (sorry OSU) but after a brief stint in California, she spent her childhood years from kindergarten on living in Chicagoland. The middle child stuck between her two sisters, she took after her dad mostly, especially in matters of engineering, cooking, having strong opinions on things, how to load a dishwasher, not being intimidated by loud angry people, and handyman work. She grew up being raised correctly as a Cubs fan, and an overall Chicago lover.
She and J met in high school, via a common friend, and kicked it off from the start. Fun fact is that in high school she was J’s TA in calculus as well as for a while his boss at the local burger joint. So yes, she’s the smart one in the family, you were already thinking that so we’ll just put it out there.
Post college in Colorado (go Buffs!), A returned to Chicagoland and got married (to J, just in case you’re wondering). Her career from the outset was in commercial construction, as well getting her Masters later in Construction Management from Northwestern University (go Cats!). After taking some time off to have and raise kids, she’s continued her career working within the commercial construction industry for a large general contractor running a regional team that handles the industry-specific 3D software for designing and coordinating construction virtually.
She really likes feelings and making soups.
Ladies and gentlemen, we give you, the kids:
E, our eldest, is a middle schooler and typical first-born. She loves her iPhone, yelling at her siblings, Lululemon, and hanging out with friends. She plays sports and gets good grades without her parents harping her about studying. And while she traffics in deadpan humor, she can easily erupt into a case of the giggles. Especially when tickled. She takes after her dad a lot, not just in looks but especially in terms of being tall and bad jokes.
R, whom we call the Bug, is our free spirit. She likes baking and helping out small children. While she loves dancing, she refuses to take formal dance lessons, because “they’ll tell me how I have to dance instead of how I want to dance.” She is very stubborn, and would gladly suffer any punishment you can throw at her to not give in. Somehow she keeps her room clean and smelling nice without ever being asked. Many people say she looks like a little version of A, which is true. We do not call her Mini Me though.
We also recently learned she can fit her fist inside her mouth. Wild.
W, our third-born, is very very…boy. His favorite pastimes are playing video games and annoying his sisters.
He is good at both.
When not doing these things he’s usually found making pretend guns out of inanimate objects or creating paper airplanes. While he enjoys sports and wrestling with other kids, he is also our child that is fastest to offer up a hug. Despite still being in grade school, he can eat an ungodly amount of food when he feels inspired, and can easily struggle to find where he left his shoes…that he’s wearing.
C is the fourth child, and knows it. She acts like she runs the household much of the time, and is unafraid to march into a room with random adult strangers and tell them what she wants them to do for her. She claims she is shy. While not a Tomboy, almost all of her friends are boys, and her dad is growingly uneasy about that. She has a personal mission to pet every dog on earth and is pretty good at playing soccer. C could not keep her room clean for twenty four hours if her life depended on it, and she has a massive affinity for stuffed animals, to the point she may need intervention.
And lastly, we can’t forget to introduce our adopted family member, Maddie. Maddie is an English bulldog, with severe RBF (Resting Bulldog Face), who enjoys naps, chewing up dog toys, and destroying every ball she encounters. We adopted her from a bulldog rescue early in the pandemic after both of our Boston Terriers had passed away from old age. While she isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer, she is a great snuggle companion who wants to always be close to us, and we love her dearly.
To many, we are the stereotypical Costco-visiting, suburban, SUV-driving family involved in too many kids activities. These things are true. To others, we also embody a little bit of the extra flair in life: While we are usually very busy people, we also (usually) find a way to thrive, adventure, and smile through it. We’ve traveled to around fifty countries between us, we yell and cry at our TV when the Cubs play, we love a good meal at an interesting restaurant, throwing a great party, and trying to figure out together how to smoke a great brisket. On that last point, we have yet to succeed. But long ago we set up some maxims in our life together and have tried to stick to them. So far, through all of the ups and downs of parenting and life, it’s working out.